You know how when you’re really busy, masturbating is normally the first thing to go? And by that, I mean you literally just don’t do it at all? Because the second my life becomes remotely stressful, I forget that I have a clitoris. And right now, my life is pretty fucking stressful—well, without the fucking. That’s when my clitoris demanded an intervention. She said, “Hey, maybe you should try to masturbate every day before work!”—or maybe I dreamt that? Regardless, I jumped (vagina first) at the opportunity, because why not masturbate every morning for a month.

Come play with my little asshole. I love an Anal Orgasm!

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